Nobody ever did that.
After a while, holding out hope started feeling way heavier than just dealing with being starving, so I just quit holding onto it so much.
Even so, I absolutely never wanted to get by on asking folks for spare change.
I definitely don’t judge anyone who does that. Being super hungry can break down the toughest guy out there. Freezing weather can make acting proud feel totally stupid. But something deep down in my gut just refused to sit on a sidewalk with a cup waiting for folks to feel sorry for me.
So I busted my back working.
I scrubbed down parking lots way before the sun even came up, pulling garbage bags that were way too heavy for my arms to even carry. I hauled heavy boxes around in big storage buildings for guys who slipped me cash and never bothered asking for my ID.
I threw paint on backyard fences while family dogs barked their heads off at me through the screen doors. I chopped down wild bushes for sweet older couples who kept an eye on me from their windows and snuck me fresh sandwiches wrapped up in paper towels.
Literally anything folks were willing to hand over cash for, I got it done.
Some days I got a good meal. Other days I totally skipped eating.
I had nights where my stomach hurt so bad that I just grabbed it with both hands and stared straight up at the bottom of the overpass until the sun came out. I lived through winters where I crashed out wearing every single t-shirt I actually owned all at once.
