I told only one person. Mark, my best friend since we were 12. He cried on the phone when I told him and said: “You’re going to have to be strong now, man. You’ve always been stronger than you think.”
I believed him without reservation.
At a small market near the airport, I found two hand-knitted sweaters in yellow, because my mother had written to say she was decorating the nursery in yellow. Then I bought white flowers from a roadside stall because white had always been Mara’s favorite.
I didn’t call ahead. I wanted to surprise my wife.
I imagined the door opening. Her face. The girls. God… I was so excited.
He cried on the phone when I told him.
The drive from the airport felt like the longest 30 minutes of my life, and I spent most of it smiling. I remember thinking nothing could ruin that moment.
I was wrong.
***
I pulled into the driveway and sat there for a second, then stepped out and walked up to the porch. Something felt off before I even touched the door.
