“What do you want?” I asked quietly. Forget the job. Forget what’s smart. What do you actually want? She opened her eyes and looked at me with so much raw honesty, it hurt you. I want you, but I also want that job. I’ve worked for 15 years to get an opportunity like this. How do I choose? Maybe you don’t have to. She laughed, but it came out broken.
Seattle’s a thousand miles away, Carter. Long distance doesn’t work. Especially not when we’ve never even been together. We’d be building a relationship on nothing but phone calls and hope. Or you could turn it down. I can’t ask you to be the reason I give up this opportunity. What if we try this and it doesn’t work out? Then I’ll have given up everything for nothing.
I knew she was right. The logical part of my brain knew every word she was saying made sense. But the rest of me didn’t care about logic. Stay, I said. Stay in Denver. We’ll figure this out together. Carter, I’m serious. You want to know what I want? I want to take you to dinner. Real dinner. Not late night work sessions disguised as meals. I want to wake up next to you.
I want to see what this could actually be without hiding it or pretending it’s not happening. I took her hands in mine. You’re terrified this won’t work out. But what if it does? What if this is the thing you’ve been missing while you were busy building your career? She was crying again silently this time.
You’re asking me to gamble my entire future on a relationship that doesn’t even exist yet. No, I’m asking you to give us a chance. Take the weekend. Think about it. But don’t make this decision alone in your head at midnight when you’re scared. I squeezed her hands. And for what it’s worth, I think you’re worth the risk.
Whatever happens, I think you’re worth it. She stared at me for a long moment. Then she pulled her hands free and stepped back. I should go. Sloan, please. I need to think. I need to not be here with you looking at me like that because I can’t think straight when you do. I wanted to argue, wanted to kiss her again and make her forget about Seattle and jobs and every logical reason why this was complicated.
But I didn’t because she was right. This decision was too big to make like this. Okay, I said go think. But Sloan, whatever you decide, I meant what I said. You’re worth it. She nodded, not trusting herself to speak. And then she grabbed her purse and headed for the door. She paused with her hand on the knob, looking back at me one more time.
“I’ve never felt like this about anyone,” she whispered. “That’s what scares me most.” “Then she was gone. I stood there in my living room, heart still racing, lips still tingling from her kiss, and realized that my entire future was now in the hands of a woman who’ just walked out my door. All I could do was wait. Part three. I didn’t sleep that night.
Not even close. I sat on my couch until the sun came up, replaying everything over and over. the way she’d kissed me, the tears in her eyes, the sound of my door closing behind her. By the time Saturday morning light started filtering through my blinds, I’d convinced myself I’d never hear from her again.
She’d take the job. Of course, she would. It was the smart choice, not the safe choice. And Sloan Mercer always made the smart choice. I finally dragged myself to the shower around 8, then to the kitchen to make coffee. I didn’t want. My phone sat on the counter, silent, mocking me. The weekend crawled by like torture.
