But the apartment was hers. She had paid for it herself, kept it clean herself, fixed what she could herself. And in the way that a place becomes yours not because it is beautiful, but because you have poured your quiet effort into it, it was home.
Her room was simple: a narrow bed with a blue blanket folded neatly at the foot, a wooden table with 2 chairs, a small shelf holding a few books, a well-worn Bible, and 1 framed photograph. The photograph was of her mother.
Her name had been Victoria Lawson. She was young in the picture, maybe 20, maybe 21, standing in a garden somewhere, her head tilted back slightly, laughing at something just outside the frame. She looked free. She looked like someone who had not yet been hurt by the world.
Rebecca looked at that photograph every morning. Not always for long. Sometimes it was just a glance, a greeting, almost a way of saying, I remember you. I still carry you with me. This morning she looked at it a little longer than usual. She was not sure why. She touched the edge of the frame gently, the way she always did, then set it down and finished getting ready.
Her mother had raised her alone from the very beginning. Rebecca had grown up knowing only 1 parent, 1 pair of hands that braided her hair in the mornings, 1 voice that said her name at night, 1 person who showed up every single time.
Victoria had worked as a seamstress, taking in clothes to mend and alter from people in the neighborhood. She worked from a small table near the window, her needle moving fast and steady, her reading glasses sliding down her nose. They did not have much, but they had enough. Victoria made sure Rebecca always felt it.
She bought Rebecca books. She helped her with homework even when she was exhausted. She made sure Rebecca went to church every Sunday in a clean dress, even if the hem had been mended. On Rebecca’s birthdays, she baked a small cake, nothing fancy, just simple vanilla with a little icing, and sang in a soft, slightly off-key voice that Rebecca had loved completely.
Rebecca had been happy in the simple, uncomplicated way children are happy when they feel safe and loved. But there had always been 1 question sitting quietly at the back of everything. Where is my father?
She had asked it for the first time when she was about 6 years old. She had come home from school, where a teacher had asked the class to draw a picture of their family. Rebecca had drawn herself and her mother, then looked at the empty space beside them and not known what to put there.
Victoria had been quiet for a long time after that question. She was mending a blue dress, and she kept her eyes on the needle when she finally answered.
